Ah the gag gift. It’s like life’s little gem wrapped in a package with a bow that says open me so I can laugh at you!
A good gag joke is like a warm apple pie. Soft, delicious, unconditionally loving and something you want to share with the rest of the world, because you’d feel selfish and a little sick to your stomach if you ate the whole pie by yourself.
Why not share that sick, nauseating feeling with those closest to you with these 15 hilarious gag gifts, pranks & jokes (if you can call them that).
1. Get Your sh!t Together Note Pad
Bet you weren’t expecting that when you landed on this page did ya?, and neither will your lazy coworkers when they get a fist full of insults delivered straight to their desk or inbox. Don’t be coy, you’re not a fish, be Frank, even though you’re not a hot dog either.
They know what they did or didn’t do and just need your support to help them achieve your goals, even if they don’t want (or don’t agree) with them. After all why give them a pat on the back when you can give them a kick in the…. Well you know.
Feel free to tell your correspondents, fellow employees, ex or mother whats up with these colorful notes. (Just don’t get fired, or mortally wounded)
2. Liquid @ss
O.K. who farted? You smelt it you dealt it! A classic prank with a twist (or rather a spritz). Combine this with a good ol fashion whoopee cushion and your coworkers will never look at you (or the pranked insolent) in the same way again.
You can be the funniest person in the office and make an enemy or two in the process. Just make sure you open a window and have a working ventilation shaft nearby cause it don’t smell like roses.
3. Big Mouth Coffee Mug
Few things have as big an impact on life as a good ol cup o Joe in the morning. In fact some might say that it should be given out as a recommended prescription, and that’s where this little gem comes in.
The Big Mouth Coffee Mug is perfect for letting everyone know that if you don’t get your daily prescribed coffee in the morning (or night) than you can’t be held liable for your actions.
I mean who could blame you for what you did when only half of your brain is functioning? Just don’t blame me if they still decide to blame you due to a lack of coffee; its not my fault.
4. Passive-Aggressive Notes
It isn’t always easy letting your coworkers know exactly how you feel about them, but with these passive-aggressive notes you can let them know just that and then some. Who says you have to confront them head on when you can just slide it on their desk when they aren’t looking.
They’ll think its funny, but you know the truth and so does everyone else around them. Be passive, be aggressive and say exactly what’s on your mind without actually saying it with these passive-agressive notes.
5. Zombie Survival Guide
When the world ends and all your patients & coworkers turn against you what better tool can you have at your disposal than The Zombie Survival Guide? The answer is none just in case you’re wondering.
The Zombie Survival Guide offers nurses (and pretty much anyone for that matter) a comprehensive understanding of zombie physiology and behavior, educates you on the most effective defense tactics and weaponry, teaches you how to properly outfit your home for a long siege, and informs you on how to survive and adapt to any environment, territory or terrain.
With this handy dandy survival book you can rest knowing you and you’re still living loved ones will be protected. What are you waiting for get The Zombie Survival Guide before the zombie apocalypse arrives.
6. Bacon Adhesive Bandages
There are few things in life that bacon can’t fix. Got a broken heart?, put some bacon on it, car won’t start?, put some bacon on it, can’t get comfortable in bed?, put some bacon on it, and now if you fall down and get a BooBoo that’s right, put some bacon on it.
Each bandage tin comes with fifteen bacon bandages and a free trinket so yay. You don’t even need to have a BooBoo to use one, just lie and say you do.
7. Big Mouth Toilet Mug
We’ve all had long, boring, “crappy” days, but with the Big Mouth Toilet Mug you can let everyone at work or home know exactly how you’re feeling. This lovely ceramic, dishwasher safe coffee mug will be a hit at the office and the envy of all you’re friends who don’t have a way to express themselves properly.
You can fill it with coffee, chocolate milk or pretty much any other brownish colored liquid to get the best results. It won’t make your drink taste any stronger, but it will give the impression that you’re someone who clearly knows what he/she is doing. The Big Mouth Toilet Mug makes a great gift for that special someone in your life.
8. Fake Parking Violation Tickets
You’ve had them, I’ve had them, we’ve all had them, people who don’t know how to park their car or think their car is a tour bus and needs to take up 15 bajillion parking spots.
Well shame on them and with these fake parking violation tickets you can let them know exactly how you feel and why they aren’t as special as they think they are when they look in their vanity mirror. Feel free to give one to everyone that parks in your spot, in multiple spots or in any spot they don’t belong in.
You get one, and you get one, and you get one! Contribute to society in some meaningful way and get your fake violation parking tickets today.
9. Emergency Underpants
In case of emergency, well you know what to do. The emergency underpants can makes a nice little gag gift (or real gift depending on the situation) for the office space.
Feel free to embarrass your co workers day and night without feeling any regret or sympathy for their psychological well being, because well, lets face it you’re a horrible person. Or maybe you’re secretly the hero that saves the day.
Whatever case is true don’t let your fellow employees get caught in an uncomfortable position, save them by letting everyone know you brought them a pair of emergency underpants.
10. World’s Largest Coffee Cup
Sometimes a regular cup of coffee just isn’t strong enough to get you or your friends through the day. Sure you can spend hours upon hours running back and fourth to fill up your cup every ten minutes or you can buy the worlds biggest coffee cup and make one long, arduous trip to the coffee machine.
Or why not head out to your favorite local coffee shop and tell them you want to a centosessanta mocha latte with cream and low fat milk? I know I would. If you actually manage to drink an entire cup of coffee this size you’re crazy, but hey I like crazy.
11. World’s Easiest Diet Kit
Whoever said dieting isn’t easy clearly didn’t have the right tools for the job. A modern diet calls for modern tools and the world’s easiest diet kit is today’s tools of the trade.
Best of all when you use this diet kit you don’t have to worry about over eating, unless its a sandwich, or a bag of chips or some other handheld food that doesn’t require a spoon and fork, but hey we can only give you the tools, we can’t hand pick the foods, or can we?
12. Creative Cursing Profanity Generator
When sarcastic creativity isn’t working for you in the moment and you need a good come back from a well played insult you can always reach out for your handy dandy creative profanity generator to keep you at the top of your A game.
With this creative investment you’ll never have to worry about getting stumped by someone whose slightly wittier than you. Just turn your back on them as you thumb through your generator and find the perfect response to make them feel like a loser.
Don’t be a loser any longer…. Get your creative cursing game on by picking up the creative cursing profanity generator.
13. Exploding Pen
What’s better than a pen? An exploding pen that scares the $#!t out of someone and makes them do the Harlem shake…. Involuntarily. Go ahead, Google it…. I’ll wait! You liked that video didn’t you?
Now be a good little employee and give your coworker, roommate or mortal enemy something that will make them question ever taking your pen again. (Harlem shake not included!)
14. I Spit In This Mug
Aren’t you coworker of the year, spitting in your fellow employees cup, tisk tisk. Then on top of that you let them know as they finish their beverage by inscribing exactly what you just did on the bottom of their cup.
You devious little person you. I think we can be good friends, just as long as its not my cup you’re spitting in, cause if you did spit in my cup I can’t be held liable for my actions. Defiance often comes at a cost, but fortunately its fairly inexpensive.
15. Awesome Citation Warning
After you spit in your coworkers cup of coffee for making you look like a bad employ by comparison you can write them an awesome citation to tell them just how great they are and how they might get you fired one day, unless you’re the boss then its just an awesome citation with no consequence to you.
Personally I like writing awesome citations, it gets me cool points in the office and makes everyone who didn’t get one beg for my acceptance. OK maybe not, but still I like to think so in that dark place known as my mind, and you can too with these Awesome Citation notes.
What makes a good gag gift, prank or joke?
It all comes down to being slightly wittier than your opponents (…uh I mean fellow friends & coworkers).
The perfect gift inspires laughter, finely timed insults, reminders of your superiority over your subjects and a little jenesequa.
If you yourself are not funny it doesn’t matter, there are plenty of other people who are funnier than you and they create gag gifts all the time.
So when you’re thinking about using that hilarious gag on some unsuspecting chump (ahem team member) think to yourself, “would I laugh at this if it were done to me?).
If your answer is, “yes I would laugh” go back to the drawing board cause its not funny enough…. SMH seriously?!?!
But honestly all jokes aside at the core of it gag gifts are meant to be fun and funny and nonsensical.
Do your best to make everyone laugh, including the clown getting pranked.
Have fun, crack a joke and be hysterical, but stay away from those nurses and doctors that seem to have misplaced their funny bone or left their sense of humor at home, cause no one likes an negative Nancy, or the face pouting write up that comes with pranking “those people”.
I don’t always prank people, but when I do it’s around someone who has a sense of humor and can take a joke.
Prank responsibly my friends! And you can quote me on that…